Occasionally I speak to college students and the biggest question I get?
“How do I deal with someone not doing their part in a group project?”
And we all experience the same thing in work – we expect someone to do their part of a project or task and they just don’t follow through. Whether it’s an employee, or a peer, or someone outside your company, it haunts us all. And not only does it make it harder for us to get our own work done – we need to figure out how to call them out and figure out what’s going on.
When I was overseeing orientation processes, there was a colleague in a different team that kept delaying sending over important information to help us plan. Even after giving direct feedback and going through her manager, the issue persisted.
So here are 3 ways you can address it and I’ll share what eventually worked:
1. The Straight Feedback
“You promised you would get that report in by yesterday at noon, and I still haven’t received it yet. Because it’s late, I couldn’t finish my part of the project and we missed an important deadline where our vendor is now withholding payment. In the future, I need you to follow through on your commitments, and I understand if things come up, could you just let me know if you’re not able to meet a deadline?”
This is simple, straightforward, and provides a clear context why something is important. It also provides what is expected in the future.
2. The Coach
“You promised you would get that report in by yesterday at noon, and I still haven’t received it yet. Because it’s late, I couldn’t finish my part of the project and we missed an important deadline where our vendor is now withholding payment. I get that things come up, what happened from your end?”
I get that the straight feedback approach isn’t right for everyone and may be too assertive for some. That’s actually why I prefer this 2nd approach, it still gives the important information, gives clear context, but allows for you to explore what went wrong or what came up.
If you want to use this approach, you have to be willing to be open and listen to the other side. It takes longer, but the other person will be less defensive and more willing to collaborate.
3. The Open Dialogue
“You promised you would get that report in by yesterday at noon, and I still haven’t received it yet. Can I ask what’s going on?”
(blah blah blah – insert their reason here)
“I think that makes sense, here’s the problem – because I didn’t get your report, I wasn’t able to complete my part of the project and we’re not going to get paid by our vendor. In the future, what could we do so we can keep in mind any potential barriers in your world and still meet these deadlines?”
This is an extremely collaborative version of the conversation, in which you need to explore their point of view first before you give context. Here, it doesn’t matter as much whether they’re lying.
The important thing is that you’re trying to sidestep that altogether and focus on getting buy-in.
An important aspect of all of these approaches is you have to be willing to bring up what’s going on first.
In my case, I tried all 3, but eventually I had to use the 3rd approach, which worked the best. It wasn’t perfect, but our collaboration and her reports were much more reliable from that point forward.
Sometimes it won’t be an instant fix, but it’s a process – the better you can navigate those conversations, the stronger the relationship can be.
Cheers,
Chris
PS – Whenever you’re ready, I have 3 ways to help you:
- Difficult Conversations Course >> If you struggle with difficult conversations, take this course where I help you handle the toughest conversations with confidence, balance empathy and assertiveness, and respond to the most difficult behaviors.
- 1-hour Effective Performance Coaching Course >> If you’re a manager looking for strategies to be better at coaching your employees, take this free 1 hour course to boost up your coaching ability
- Podcast: The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations. >> If you’re interested in more ways to manage difficult conversations, I also have a podcast, Available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube
