The meeting that should have been an email.*
Look, this problem haunts everybody, in every industry – so you’re not alone.
Truth is, we all have to sit through meetings we don’t want to. Some are actually beneficial for us to be at, but some are time wasters. But it’s not just about being a waste of time. Being in unproductive meetings actually costs your company money and productivity. You could be doing so many other important things, but you’re not. You’re stuck in a meeting that’s going around in circles.
But, over the years I’ve learned a few ways to professionally and politely get out of meetings.
Here are 3 ways that have worked for me and others:
- When you don’t know why you need to be there
“Hey, I apologize, I want to make sure I’m prepared for this meeting. What would you like me to prepare or bring for this meeting?”
When you don’t know what the meeting is about OR you don’t think you need to be there, just ask the organizer directly why they want you there. Either they have a good response or they don’t.
If they don’t, you can follow up with:
“It sounds like it may not be important for me to be there and I’m juggling a few other obligations, would it be ok for me to catch up afterwards?”
- When you’re busy with other things
“Hey, I apologize, I can’t make that meeting, but I’m happy to give my input via email or video for consideration ahead of time. Alternatively, I can also jump on a quick call to share some thoughts? Let me know which works for you.”
Being polite and considerate is key, because at the end of the day, the person organizing the meeting is just trying to do their job.
This is the “No, but here’s how I can still try to help” approach.
- If all else fails
If:
- there’s still no clear reason for you to be there
- They still want you to be there
- You don’t want to go because you have other important things to do
Go to your own manager and ask:
“Hey, I’d love your thoughts. I’m being asked to go to Meeting [X]. The problem is, I’m also trying to finish [task/project Y] before our deadline so our team can [etc.]. Which do you want me to prioritize?”
The genius part of this is you’re not saying you don’t want to go to a particular meeting, so it doesn’t seem like you’re complaining or throwing a tantrum.
Instead, you’re putting the responsibility of prioritizing onto your manager and it’s on them to make a decision about the better use of your time. And you’re showing you care about the team’s goals.
Just make sure you’re specifying a concrete, negative outcome that’s important to your manager to make the situation real and not just theoretical.
I hope these help, I’ve used #3 even when my own manager has asked me to go to a meeting I didn’t want to go to – with good results. Regardless of which approach you use, the key is your tone.
Make sure you maintain a tone of clear boundaries, but wanting to help the other person as much as you are able. You just can’t help in this way of attending that meeting.
Let me know if you have other approaches that work well!
Cheers,
Chris
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*The meeting that should have been an email. Truth is, if everybody would actually read the email and do what they’re supposed to be doing, it could be an email. Meetings are an unfortunate side effect of not everyone reading the email!
**Thanks to all those who filled out my survey on topics that would be most helpful for you in this newsletter. The two most important things that came up:
- How to handle difficult conversations in professional situations
- Toolkits and Worksheets
So to be clear, that’s what you’ll see going forward!
PS – Whenever you’re ready, I have 3 ways to help you:
- Free Strategy Assessment >> If you’re a nonprofit leader, take a free, 5-minute quiz to evaluate your nonprofit’s strategy implementation plan
- 1-hour Effective Performance Coaching Course >> If you’re a manager looking for strategies to be better at coaching your employees, take this free 1 hour course to boost up your coaching ability
- Podcast: The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations. >> If you’re interested in more ways to manage difficult conversations, I also have a podcast, Available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.
