Leading and managing people isn’t easy.
Even if you’re good with people and you’re great at your job. You’re still finding it hard to get others to do what you need them to do. They either:
Don’t do it correctly
Struggle with deadlines
Keep forgetting how to do parts of their job
Refuse to do the basic tasks you ask them to do
Or all of the above
Sometimes it feels like a puzzle. A puzzle where the rules and pieces keep changing. Or it feels like you’re constantly trying to catch a tiger by the tail.
Bad news – that’s normal. Humans are complex and complicated. We all have unique needs, wants, desires.
But good news? There’s a science-based way to get better at understanding what other people need. And if you can get this right, you can be more intentional and strategic in the way you treat your employees.
Enter, the SCARF model. Created by David Rock, it provides a framework of the five domains that everyone’s brains respond to and influence our behaviors in social situations.
Remember, just like fight, flight, or freeze – situations or behaviors that strike at any of these five domains that are important to us will instantly activate parts of our brains that cause us distress.
Getting hurt in one of these domains hurts just as much as physical pain.
I’d argue at times even more than physical pain.
The hard part is not everyone values the same thing, so I created an assessment for you.
First, let me walk you through the 5 domains, what they mean, and situations where they may be visible. Then I’ll give you examples of situations that make it worse and how to design responses for the person that values that domain.
S for Status
If someone values this, it means they value how important they are in relation to others.
People who value this might get upset when:
They get left out of an activity
They receive critical feedback in front of others
You give them feedback in a way that feels like a threat
You keep praising a different team member in front of groups and in front of them.
So, some ideas for this type of person:
Involve them in new projects
Give them regular praise when they do something well
Increase their responsibilities on the team, if that’s appropriate
Give them extra development opportunities to develop their skills and knowledge
C for Certainty
People who value this highly value being certain of what’s going to happen or what’s expected of them. Consistent routines are incredibly important for them.
People who value this might get upset when:
They’re given overly complex projects/tasks
Your company or team is going through a huge change initiative
Some ideas for this type of person:
Break down complex tasks into bite-size, manageable chunks
Be extremely concrete and clear on your expectations from them
A for Autonomy
People who value this highly value being able to control their environment and their work.
They may get upset when:
You micromanage them
Some ideas for this type of person:
Create opportunities for autonomy by getting out of their day-to-day work
Include them in decision making processes
Delegate and allow them to take on more responsibility
Give them some freedom to try new ideas
R for Relatedness
People who value this place a high premium on being able to connect with others and feel safe in their presence.
They may get upset when:
They’re isolated from others
They’re left out of group activities
They don’t meet with you regularly to check in
Some ideas for this type of person:
Hold regular 1:1’s
Include them on group activities
Create a buddy system or mentoring for them
F for Fairness
People who value this prioritize the perception of fairness. That’s not the same as actual fairness, just the perception from their point of view.
They may get upset when:
They’re excluded from decision making
You’re inconsistently holding people accountable to standards
There’s incomplete information on decisions and how they’re made
Some ideas for this type of person:
Don’t show favoritism or exclude people on purpose
Be open and honest as much as possible around decisions
Have clear rules, expectations, and objectives for the team and enforce it consistently
Putting it all together
The hard part is not everyone values each of these things equally. Also, people can highly value more than one thing at a time.
For example, if someone’s left out of a group activity, that may hit both their status and relatedness domains.
To make it a little easier, I created a mini-assessment for you. That way, you can assess each of your team members. I put a screenshot here:
It’s pretty straightforward, for each of the domains:
Rate how important you think that domain is to that person.
For the highest rated domains, brainstorm possible ways you can address that need for them.
I know you’re wondering, “how do I know for sure what they value?”
There’s only 2 ways that I know of:
Ask them directly (but they may not know or may not want to admit it)
Observe and adjust over time
It may take longer, but think of it as a work in progress – it’s ok to update as you get more information.
Download it here
I know this may seem like a lot, but do this right and you can really get the best out of your team.
Let me know how it goes.
Cheers,
Chris
PS –
If you’re a nonprofit leader, take a free, 5-minute quiz to evaluate your nonprofit’s strategy implementation plan >>>>> Did I mention it’s free?
If you’re looking for strategies to be better at coaching your employees >>>>> Check out this link to a free 1-hour course on effective performance coaching.
If you’re interested in more ways to manage difficult conversations, I also have a podcast, The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations. Available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.
