I used to do martial arts and before every sparring session or fight, I felt like I was having a heart attack.
Before that and since then, I’ve never experienced such intense pounding in my chest and a desire to have the session canceled.
The weird thing? As soon as the first punch was thrown, that nervousness disappeared.
A good friend of mine used to compete in Golden Gloves competitions when he was younger and he felt the same way. He said he felt like throwing up before every fight.
What I’m trying to tell you is that it’s normal to feel that stress and nervousness. In fact, it’s a sign that you care.
And if you care, use that anxiety to your advantage.
Do these things to lean into that fear/nervousness:
1. Accept it as normal
Understand that stress, nerves, and anxiety are perfectly normal reactions, so give yourself grace. You’re not alone; everyone experiences these emotions in similar situations.
2. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
Turn your anxiety into productivity by thoroughly preparing. Worried about something going wrong? Imagine it will and practice how you could respond. The more you practice these, the more prepared you’ll feel knowing you have an idea of how to respond in the moment.
3. Get clear on your goals
Get clear on: “What outcome do I want from this conversation, and why does it matter so much to me?” The clearer your goal, the easier it is to plan the conversation. To stay focused, write it down and and revisit it before and during the conversation to stay focused.
4. Get out of a power struggle
Things getting out of control? Active listening can help you regain control of the dialogue. You have a choice – you can either let it spiral into a power struggle or you can slow things down and get out of that cycle completely.
5. Find Your Center
Stay grounded and centered so that the other person can’t knock you off your focus. Physical routines like mindfulness, yoga, going for a walk or run, or meditation are popular for a reason. They’re incredibly effective at teaching you how to manage your physical and mental aspects.
Difficult conversations by definition are difficult.
But lean into that discomfort, because as they say, “The magic happens outside your comfort zone.”
What other strategies do you use to find confidence in hard conversations?
Cheers,
Chris
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PS – Whenever you’re ready, I have 3 ways to help you:
- Free Strategy Assessment >> If you’re a nonprofit leader, take a free, 5-minute quiz to evaluate your nonprofit’s strategy implementation plan
- 1-hour Effective Performance Coaching Course >> If you’re a manager looking for strategies to be better at coaching your employees, take this free 1 hour course to boost up your coaching ability
- Podcast: The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations. >> If you’re interested in more ways to manage difficult conversations, I also have a podcast, Available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube
