I was originally going to write about something else, but the recent events added on top of everything going on for the past year have been weighing heavily on my mind.

I used to not care about politics at all.  

And when people tried to get me involved, I would get annoyed at that phrase “if you don’t vote, you can’t complain”. 

I understood the principle behind it, but I always took it literally – of course I can still complain, I have the right to say (almost) whatever I want.

It wasn’t until later (my early 30’s), where I became friends with a guy from South Africa and he was super passionate about politics – not as an abstract idea, but as something that shapes real lives and communities.

That’s what reframed politics for me from something theoretical into something urgent.  

Everything seems so tense, with so much needless suffering and pain and lots of people shouting at and past each other.

And because of my work with offenders, I have a hard time with the idea of lumping anyone in as automatically all bad.

That said, silence isn’t neutral.  Speaking up – and doing it well – matters.

So what can we do in times like this? And how do we talk about these hot topic political issues in a way that’s productive?

(if you didn’t know this, I also covered this in a podcast episode with the talented guest Christopher Geggie.  You can listen here or watch here)

1. If you’re engaging in conversations, get clear on your outcomes

If your goal is just to vent and express your hurt (which is a very reasonable outcome), you’re better off talking to someone who you trust and can hold space for your emotions.

If your goal is to persuade someone to change their mind, that’s a longer conversation (I’ll cover some tips below).

If your goal is to convince someone to join your movement/side, I’ll cover that below too.

2. It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling

Many people are feeling deep grief and sorrow at what’s happening.  

That’s perfectly normal and fine.  

Maybe your productivity is down, maybe you need a little more “me-time” to care for yourself.  

I encourage you to do what you need to take care of yourself (that old adage of not pouring from an empty cup).

3. Corollary to that

Joy is an act of resistance (From “The Telly Cycle” by Poet Toi Derricotte).

Some people feel guilty for experiencing joy or happy things during times like these.

But focusing only on suffering and darkness is letting evil win.  

So find time to be happy with friends or family.  

Find time to connect deeply and play games and laugh.  

Remind yourself of the things that are important to you and remember why you want things to be better.

4. Stop yelling at people online

In my limited time on Earth, I have not met many people who have been yelled at or called names and suddenly change their views on something or agree that they’re wrong.

I know it feels good to post and comment and declare your point.  

It doesn’t matter if it’s right, it just won’t really work.

If you truly want to vent, there’s better places for that.

All I’ll say is that yelling at people (online or in real life) is not a productive use of your energy.  

5. If you want to persuade someone:

If you want real change, you have to take the time in 1:1 conversations to get to know someone so they’re willing to listen to you.

Daryl Davis is an example of just that – he converted over 200 KKK members by befriending them one by one and letting that friendship blossom.

Darly is a blues musician and a black man.

I understand if you don’t have the capacity to truly understand everyone (especially if they mean to do you harm) – and I’m not saying you need to.

But like point #4, yelling isn’t going to help.

6. Feelings of helplessness are normal

It’s also perfectly normal in situations of extreme danger or pain to feel like you should be doing something.

It happens to almost every clinician/therapist that works with people with active suicidal thoughts and desires.

We can take every appropriate precaution, put the person in safe custody, and get them all the help they need. 

But we’ll always have a nagging feeling – “I feel like I should be doing more”.

I was a senior in HS in NY during 9/11 and my dad worked just down the street (luckily he was safe).

You better believe that I watched that coverage all day with the feeling of “I wish I could be doing something about this”.

There may not be a ton you can do from where you’re at, but it doesn’t have to always be large and flashy.

It could be:

• Going to protests
• Donating to or volunteering with organizations on the ground
• Providing therapy or other emotional/physical support to front line workers
• Checking in on vulnerable neighbors
• Volunteering with food banks, local orgs, etc.
• Calling government representatives
• Organizing neighborhood watch groups
• Sharing flyers and promotional assets for protests

Don’t let people shame you into thinking there is only one right way to take action.  Coordinated/sustained movements require lots of people all playing different roles.

Teams wouldn’t work if everyone had the same role.  

And everyone has different responsibilities and realities of life.  

The times we’re living through here are heavy and can seem unending and overwhelming.  

I want to end by sharing a quote from an incredible show “Andor” that seems to have more than a few parallels to what’s going on these days:

“There will be times when the struggle seems impossible. I know this already. Alone, unsure, dwarfed by the scale of the enemy.

Remember this, Freedom is a pure idea. It occurs spontaneously and without instruction… 

Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.

And remember this: the Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

Remember that. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empire’s authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege.

Remember this: Try.”

Cheers,

Chris

PS – I was going to make an announcement about my business, but I’m going to wait until next week, can you guess what it is?