Newsletter Archive

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April 2025
May, 2025
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August 2025
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September, 2024
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February 2026
November, 2024
March 2026
December, 2024
January, 2025
February 2025
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August, 2024
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June, 2024
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April, 2024
March, 2024
February, 2024

03/10/2026 – A Big Change is Coming

Over the past 2 years writing this newsletter, something has become clearer to me. Most of the leaders I work with aren’t struggling because they don’t know how to have...

03/02/2026 – What You Permit, You Promote

One of my favorite quotes that always resonates with people when I’m talking about accountability in the workplace: “What you permit, you promote” This comes up countless times when working...

02/17/2026 – Your team isn’t complaining. It doesn’t mean you’re fine.

I’m in the middle of a team assessment with a team that is actually performing at a high level. They’re hitting deadlines, collaborating well, and they all genuinely like each...

02/10/2026 – Giving feedback when power is involved

How stressful is it to give feedback up? Matter of fact, how difficult is it for you to give feedback to someone who’s been your mentor and you deeply respect?...

02/03/2026 – What surgeons can teach us about difficult conversations

Serious question – if you were going in for a major surgery and had your choice of surgeons, who would you choose: (assuming both have the same education and grades)...

1/27/2026 – What To Do When Everything Feels Heavy

I was originally going to write about something else, but the recent events added on top of everything going on for the past year have been weighing heavily on my...

1/20/2026 – Why Saying the Right Thing Can Still Fail

Andrew (name changed) is a senior director at a large government agency. Last week, we were just talking about his ongoing struggles with getting information from another unrelated department for...

1/13/2026 – The True Cost of Avoiding That Conversation

Last year, I worked with an organization to do leadership training for their entire leadership team. Sarah (real person, but name is changed) has been a manager for 3 years...

12/16/2025 – 3 Ways to Reject an Idea (Without Killing Morale)

Last week, I shared how to say “No” to other peoples’ requests. A friend asked me a good question – what about saying no to an employee’s idea/proposal? It’s a...

4 Ways to Say “No”

We’ve all been there. Someone asks you to volunteer for another committee, attend one more social event, or take on just one more project. And even though every fiber of...

12/02/2025 – Big Update: What’s Changing in 2025

A few years ago, I got inspired to start working on my own with the idea of online courses. That’s what led me to creating my “Mastering Difficult Conversations” and...

11/18/2025 – Your leadership team talks in circles (here’s why nothing changes)

Often times, leaders tell me a similar story: “We’ve been having the exact same conversation about our strategy for months. Different words, same meeting. We all nod, we all agree...

11/11/2025 – How to get comfortable with hearing “No”

Hearing “no” sucks. You bring an awesome idea to your boss, your team, or your partner, and they hit you with that dreaded word: “No.” Or, as my daughter used...

10/28/2025 – Have you been letting things fester too long?

One CEO I work with (I’ll call him Dan) has been struggling with his CFO for the past 2 years. As his organization has been growing, their growth has been...

10/21/2025 – 4 Ways to Build Courage for Difficult Conversations

Some people go through much of their lives avoiding hard conversations. Instead of having uncomfortable talks, they find it easier to be angry on the inside. Instead of moving forward...

10/14/2025 – How to keep your cool in hard conversations

Read on my website ( 2 – minute read) It’s so important to keep your cool in difficult conversations. Think of it like walking on a balance beam – you...

10/7/2025 – How to fix broken meetings (even if you’re not the leader)

I’m on the playground committee for my kid’s school. They need a new playground ASAP and we need to raise money for it. Here’s the problem though: Every meeting is...

9/30/2025 – What to do when nothing is working

I’ve been asked this multiple times recently: What happens if I’m doing everything right (scripts, practice, curiosity, asking questions) and the other person is still (disrespecting me, yelling at me,...

08/13/2025 – 5 realities about difficult conversations

Read on my website here (2-minute read) I was inspired by a colleague’s recent post for today’s newsletter. I wanted to share 5 realities about hard conversations that we need...

08/06/2025 – What people get WRONG about body language

Season 3 of The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations launches this week! Watch the newest episode here You hear so much about body language, interpreting lies or people hiding...

06/25/2025 – June Fast Five: Coaching Employees

This month’s theme is all about coaching your employees – both doing performance coaching if they’re struggling and coaching for development if you’re trying to grow them. It’s such a...

06/11/2025 – How do I handle a defensive person?

A leader recently shared about a struggle with an employee. This leader needed to give this employee feedback about missing deadlines and poor quality of work. And this went about...

05/28/2025 – May Fast Five: Strategic Planning That Works

This month’s theme is all about strategic planning – and how to do it so it actually works It’s something so common, yet it’s still so misunderstood. I could...

05/21/2025 – How One Nonprofit Reduced Layoffs – and Handled It With Compassion

A few months ago, I shared an episode of our podcast around how to communicate layoffs ethically and compassionately. You can read it again here Well, interestingly enough, I was...

05/14/2025 – How assumptions can destroy your relationships

In the past few months, I’ve had multiple clients struggle with relationships at work that all come down to one thing. Assumptions. I’ve been coming across this theme more and...

05/07/2025 – Breaking down silos: How one leader got teams in conflict to work together

How do you get 3 teams in conflict to work together better? Last month, one leader I was working with had this exact problem. Dave oversaw 3 people managers who...

04/30/2025 – April Fast Five: Decision Making in Complex Environments

This month’s theme is all about making decisions in chaotic and complex environments! This is especially important as we’ve all been living through some chaotic and unpredictable situations over the...

04/16/2025 – Managing Someone’s Emotions in Difficult Conversations

Recently, I published an article on how to master your emotions in hard conversations. But what about the other person’s emotions? What about when they yell? Or start verbally attacking...

04/02/2025 – 3 Ways to Make Networking Easier

“How do you network?” Especially if you don’t like networking. Especially if you’re shy. Or in my case, I used to hate networking because I thought it was just “being...

03/26/2025 – March Fast Five: Mastering Difficult Conversations

This month’s theme is all about mastering difficult conversations! I know I talk about this all the time already, so I could just give you a bunch of my own...

03/19/2025 – How to Call Someone Out For Not Following Through

Occasionally I speak to college students and the biggest question I get? “How do I deal with someone not doing their part in a group project?” And we all experience...

03/12/2025 – How to tell if someone is lying to you

A few months ago, I wrote a newsletter about how to respond to people who you think/know are lying. (You can read that issue here) Recently, someone asked me how...

03/05/2025 – How to listen for what someone is really saying

You know what’s even harder than keeping your cool? Keeping your cool and listening hard to figure out what’s really underneath the surface. I remember when, during the first family...

February Fast 5 Resources: How to Understand Other People Better

This month’s theme is all about how to better understand other people, one of the foundational elements of having difficult conversations and influencing others. You’ll notice right away this isn’t...

02/19/2025 – How to communicate layoffs ethically and compassionately

Is it possible to conduct layoffs in a way that’s respectful and compassionate? According to Summer, there definitely is. I don’t always share specific podcast episodes, but this week’s episode...

02/12/2025 – Master your Emotions: 7 Tactics for Hard Convos

When I used to do martial arts, there was one skill that was more important than: It’s the ability to control ourselves. And in tough conversations, it often comes down...

02/05/2025 – The First Barrier that Holds us Back in Difficult Conversations

Last week I was talking to a client who shared that he lost his cool in a meeting. He was meeting with a colleague who consistently gave him tasks that...

01/29/2025 – Top 5 January Resources

Surprise! This looks a little different right? One of the things I’m starting in 2025 is to provide a monthly roundup of the top 5 resources others have found helpful. ...

01/15/2025 – 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Your Next Difficult Conversation

Professional athletes don’t just show up to their games without practicing. That would be a recipe for disaster. Similarly, you wouldn’t show up to a test without studying. There’s a...

01/08/2025 – 🔍 5 Core Reasons Why Difficult Conversations are hard

Maybe you’re the kind of person that always wants to know WHY things are happening or WHY they’re going wrong. So of course in hard conversations it’s frustrating when you...

12/18/2024 – Avoid these Common Feedback Mistakes

Feedback has never been easy. Simple to understand yes, but harder to actually do well consistently. This is one of the most common topics I talk about with leaders –...

11/14/2024 – 4 Ways to say “I think you’re lying”

If you’re like me, you really value being honest and transparent. And in hard conversations, when you don’t feel like the other person is being entirely truthful, it can be...

11/06/2024 – How to Support Those in Pain

This was and is a wild week, with lots of emotions for everyone. People are feeling all sorts of ways with the results of the US presidential election. Some are...

10/30/2024 – How to Talk About Politics at Work

It may seem like the election season is getting longer and longer and things are getting more and more angry. You’re not totally wrong. There’s definitely more anger and emotion...

10/23/2024 – How to manage our assumptions about ourselves

Last week, I talked about challenging the assumptions we make about others. But how do you deal with the assumptions that you make about yourself? For instance, my ongoing feeling...

10/16/2024 – How to get rid of your assumptions, part 1

For a lot of people, the time before a hard conversation is the hardest time. You get yourself worked up and really anxious about a lot of things coming up...

10/09/24 – What are your triggers?

It’s so important to keep your cool in difficult conversations. Think of it like walking on a balance beam – you need to stay balanced – as calm, cool, and...

10/3/2024 – How to de-escalate anger

Dealing with an angry person isn’t easy. You’re probably not a huge fan of getting yelled at (who is?). Most people, when someone is yelling at them, respond in the...

09/19/2024 – Setting boundaries in hard conversations

Hard conversations will test you, your patience, and your values. Don’t get the wrong idea – it’s important to get out of your comfort zone in these types of conversations...

09/12/2024 – How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations

Last week, I talked about the anxiety and fear that’s normal when getting ready for a difficult conversation. “What if they start crying?”“What if they get angry at me?”“What if...